Crimson

Yulia Edenburgh Mode:

...

Can you see what I see?
I doubt you can, after all no one ever does or did.

Can you feel what I feel?
I doubt you can, because no one ever came close to feeling what I feel.

Can you understand what I am feeling now?
Of course you cannot, because no one ever does...

Sixteen years... Four years of which I have spent, drowning myself within myself, killing myself softly over and over again. So many years, so much time... And unlike others who spent it in fun and laughter, I spent it in tears, crying over and over to myself.

Tears which no one but only I could see.
Tears which truly meant how I felt, and not willed by Tenshi.

Seriously, how am I supposed to view mankind? As I look at mankind who they are today, I can't help but think, "Look at this blood-thirsty pack who's constantly back-stabbing one another, and yet they still call themselves friends to others." Are you really serious about our existence on this Earth?

Perhaps you would have said that I'm too young to understand all about the world at my age, perhaps you would have said that I'm just bringing problems to myself, entangling in all these complex thoughts, perhaps...

I am not running away, not now, not forever. I never liked to run away, for only cowards do that.

And that's what your excuses are telling me. That you are a coward, because you chose to run away from such facts even though they are placed before you.

I have forgotten how to run away...
Ever since the day my heart died.

Humans... Why are we such a selfish lot? Why do we have to start things and instead of ending them with our own hands, we expect others to clean up after us? Why do we have to allow other to suffer? Why do we have to envy others, gossiping about them? Why do we have to hold grudges against others when no one in this world is perfect to even start with?

Why are we such a failure as a being?

Please... Leave me in peace if you take me as trash... Just go... I rather be alone than to change myself to accomodate to you.

Ame wa...hontou ni...suteki ne...

Onegai, korosu watashi...Kono bakaero...

Korosu wa......